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underbh(online right now msg me if u want)
if u want check out my bro nick (gorefeasts) pro
C.R.E.A.M. BITCHES C.R.E.A.M. BITCHES C.R.E.A.M. BITCHES C.R.E.A.M. BITCHES
Name: Brendan(gods bro for all up in my town :P)
Hometown: SPARTA, 1800 kiss my ass rd
age: 12
height: 5' 1" (somewhere around there)
eye color: brown
Favorite anime: Bleach
Favorite anime character: hiugaya roushirou
Favorite songs:bartender, last resort, wispers in the dark, hitlar rap, diary of jaine, Ladys and gentalmen, till i colapse
Favorite Bands/artests:T-pian, siliva, M&M(:P), skillet, timberland and maby nore
I rock and Dom sucks.if u dont know dom then UR LUCKEY
╔╗╔═╦ Paste this in your channel
║╚╣║║ if you like Linkin Park
╚═║═╝
any friend of nicks may be a friend of mine if they want:P besides Cat -_-
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," says the man, "Where do you want these blinds?"
(this is not me.....)
The other night, I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise," were my last words.
The hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily and around 3 a.m. we piled into a cab and headed to our respective homes, quite inebriated.
Just as I walked through the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times!
Realizing that my husband would probably wake up to this, I quickly cuckooed another 9 times. I was quit pleased with myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution to cover up my tardiness. Even with my impaired judgment, I could count 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equaled 12 cuckoos!
The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, and confidently, I replied, "Midnight...like I promised." He didn't even raise and eyebrow and went on reading the morning paper! Phew! Got away with that one!
After a moment, he then replied, "I think we might need a new cuckoo clock."
A bit nervously, I asked him why, to which he responded:
"Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'Oh, crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks."
The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
Jk1
It was the first day of school and a new student, named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blankfaces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?'"
Again, no response except from Martinez, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863, " said Martinez.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper, "Screw the Mexicans."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up, "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares and asks. "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Martinez says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Martinez jumps out of his chair, waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little jerk. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh man, we're in BIG trouble!"
Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs". The second floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids". The third floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
At the fourth floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak." She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. It too has six floors. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
Jk3
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.
Brunette: I'll have a B and C.
Bartender: What is a B and C?
Brunette: Bourbon and Coke.
Redhead: And, I'll have a G and T.
Bartender: What's a G and T?
Redhead: Gin and tonic.
Blonde: I'll have a 15.
Bartender: What's a 15?
Blonde: 7 and 7.
A young man comes home and says "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."
Father replies, "O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair."
Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair."
Father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
A blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee."
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
This is for dom :)
—————--/—-/
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———--/´¯/'--'/´¯`•_
———-/'/--/—-/—--/¨¯
——--('(———- ¯~/'--')
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———-''————_-•´
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~You know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
98% of teenagers say "I Love You" and don't mean it. If you are one of the 2% that does, then copy and paste this in your profile. I always mean it when I say it.
92% of the teen population would be dead if Aberombie and Fitch decided that breathing wasn't cool!!Put this on your profile if you would be one of the 8% laughing hysterically in the background!!
t('_'t) meet kurbie!!!
I hate doms life... i hope you can hate my life to.
█ 20% *cool*
██ 40% *Kik Ass*
███ 45% *messed*
████ 60% *Liked*
█████ 75% *Despised*
██████ 90% *in need of love*
███████ 100% *Awsome*
███████ 100% *Pimpin*
----///-----If you have ever felt
---|||---|||---Alone
---|||---|||---Hated
---|||---|||---Suicidal
-----///----Apathetic
-----///-----Depressed
------///-----or
-----///----just
----///-----Feel in pain put this on your file and help someone out who feels that way people need to know they are not alone.
.._...|..__________ __________, ,
....../ `---___________---- _____|]
...../_==o;;;;;;;;__ _____.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___// ..put this gun on your profile if
.//___// ..you wanna shoot someone
│▒│ /▒/
│▒│/▒/♥.†
│▒ /▒/─┬─┐
│▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘ ●●PeAcE●●
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒ ▒▒┌┘
└┐▒▒▒▒┌┘
isn't it ironic?
We ignore who adores us.
Country: United States
Interests and Hobbies: chillin with my crew. Pissin people off WOOO
Movies and Shows: Bleach family guy
Music: T-pain, Limp Bizquick(:P), Finger eleven
Books: U read????
check out my putfile padge if u want
http://putfile.com/user/underbh
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